Home » Uncategorized » Gotta Love The Onion Magazine

Gotta Love The Onion Magazine

PayPal Founder To Create Island

There follows a list of amenities on the island, which I’d like to comment on. They get the italics, I get the regular type.

Large monument paying tribute to Bob Barr and his heroic 0.4 percent of the popular vote in the 2008 presidential election.
5 Famous Scientists Dismissed as Morons in Their Time

Annual contest to see which island-dweller can best hijack a normal conversation with a tirade about the corrupt U.S. tax code
We only do that when our eyes are first opened.

Huge pile of free guns right in the middle of each island
No, they’ll cost money. But your heart is in the right place.

Canning operation free from restrictive boiling and acidity-regulation rules
Absolutely. Consumer Reports or similar privately owned company will grant labels of quality for a modest cost. No expensive bloated bureaucracy needed.

Penn and Teller, every Thursday night
Could be worse.

Large ceremonial nonfunctioning national debt clock that just reads “0”
Jealous, hey?

A swimmin’ hole

Emergency blue-light phones that connect directly to the Cato Institute
Preferably to Mises Institute

A bunch of Republicans anyway
But no RINOS.

Occasional arbitrary tax on the population just to give them something to get riled up about, which, for many libertarians, is their sole reason for existing
Awww, you sussed us.


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